For the mom seeking Peace…
Photographer: Carly Sumner Photography
“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Phil 4:7
I know the holidays can cause so much anxiety and stress for moms of children with disabilities, but beyond that localized stress is the day-to-day weight we carry.
This past summer and fall were some of the most chaotic and difficult months I’ve ever faced. I desperately needed peace, but everything felt out of control. No strategy or effort I tried made a difference. Night after night, I sat on the floor in Colten’s room, crying, and asking God, “Where are You? Don’t You see me?” My heart was heavy, I was so lonely, these aren’t the moments you want to talk about when you’re asked, “How are you?”, and I was angry.
For months, nothing changed. But a turning point came when I realized I couldn’t keep striving to fix it all on my own. Instead, I began asking for His presence in the middle of the chaos. Simple, raw prayers like, “Jesus, please help me.” “I can’t do this on my own. Please show up.” Slowly, as I made the daily choice to trust Him, even when I couldn’t see the circumstances changing, my heart started to change.
I began to feel the peace He promises, little by little. I turned to worship music to guard my heart and mind from the enemy’s whispers: You’re not enough. You’ll never control your anger. You’re so impatient. Why do you try so hard, it doesn’t make a difference.” The lies kept coming, but I clung to the truth of who Jesus says I am-loved, created in His image, and made for a great purpose.
Through these hard times I realized the only way through was with Jesus. He calls us His own, and in Him, we have access to a peace that transcends the chaos. It doesn’t mean the hard days vanish or that I never lose my patience. But it does mean I can try again, knowing He is with me and for me.
To any mom walking a similar road, feeling overwhelmed and unseen, I want to remind you: His peace is for you, too. Keep seeking Him, even in the hardest moments. He sees you, He hears you, and He is faithful.